Relationships - Advice & Insights for a Stronger Bond

Even if you’re less than thrilled with the cards you’ve been dealt, it's totally possible for you and your partner to reach the finish line. Top sex experts explain how.

How to Have Great Sex with a Smaller Penis

Things to consider

Is larger better? Yes, if you're referring to an ice cream tub. Not so much in connection to penis size.

When it comes to sex, size is irrelevant to talent. Who says, by the way, that sex is only about penetration? Anybody with a dick can insert and remove it from a hole, whether it's real or store-bought. Great whoop.

Having said that, some postures allow for deeper penetration than others if your goal is to maximize what you already have, whatever that may be. We'll go over those as well as additional advice to help you improve your entire sex life.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY “SMALL”?

Based on the results of the most recent study Trusted Source of over 15,000 people, the average penis length is 3.6 in (9.1 cm) while flaccid and 5.2 in (13.1 cm) while erect.

Worried about how you measure up? Don’t be. While 15,000 may seem like a lot, it’s just a drop in the bucket when you consider that the current global male population is close to 3.9 billion.

If you’re having penis-in-vagina sex

If you want to achieve deeper penetration, position is everything. Remember that the vagina only has a small amount of nerve endings overall, particularly in comparison to the clitoris. Thus, your primary focus shouldn't be on diving deep.

You should try these positions to elevate P-in-V intercourse to a more pleasurable level. To ensure that everyone has a little something, positions for every ability and comfort level are included.

A leg up

This posture allows both partners easy access to the clit for optimum stimulation while removing legs to allow for full contact penetration.

The partner with the vagina does this by lying on their back and draping one leg over the other person's shoulder. The penetrating partner penetrates them by straddling the other leg.

If necessary, place a cushion behind the hips to assist in raising the vagina for simpler access.

Doggy style

Doggy style has endured throughout time because it provides a seductive view and deeper penetration.

As their partner kneels and approaches them from behind, the partner with the vagina goes to all fours. The victim of penetration should lower their head and chest for a deeper dive.

Vulva on top

Better known as “cowgirl,” this one begins with the partner with the penis lying on their back while the other partner climbs on facing them.

This allows for the deepest penetration and the partner on top can ensure the penis stays in for the whole ride by using a grinding or side-to-side motion instead of just moving up and down.

Bonus: Grinding as close as you can get also shows the clit some simultaneous love.

Face to face

A position that gets all your hottest parts touching, allows for some seriously sexy eye contact, and makes out? Yes, please!

For this one, the partner with the penis sits on the end of the bed or a chair. The partner with the vagina straddles their lap for entry. Wrap your arms around each other and grind away.

Pile driver

Some serious flexibility and a rug or blanket on the floor is required for this advanced move.

To begin, the partner with the vagina lies on their back and swings their legs up and back over their head so their feet are as close to the floor as possible. Next, the partner with the P squats over top and enters them, squatting to thrust in and out.

The angle created by this position shows the front wall of the vagina some major loving, which happens to be where the G-spot is locatedYou’re welcome.

If you’re having penis-in-anus sex

A smaller appendage and anal sex is a match made in heaven.

This delicate area is full of highly sensitive nerve endings and some very thin skin. Even a smaller-than-average penis can tear you a new one if you’re not stretched or sufficiently prepped for anal.

Be sure to use a lot of lube and go super slow when trying these moves.

This is hands down (ha!) the easiest position for anal penetration and ideal for beginners.

With the receiving partner on all fours, the giver can easily stimulate their partner’s anus using a well-lubed finger before kneeling behind and inserting their penis.

Plank

This is a lot like missionary, except the partner being penetrated is on their stomach. The penetrating partner gets into a plank position over top and enters them from behind.

The beauty of this position is that the recipient’s legs are flat on the bed and extended, creating a tight space for the penis to push into. The tightness of the space feels great for the giver, while the recipient’s sure to love that full feeling.

Missionary anal

This classic P-in-V position is also very butt-friendly.

If you get the angle just right, stimulating the A-spot is a good possibility. Plus, the receiving partner can reach down and play with their clit at the same time.

To begin, the recipient lies on their back with their knees pulled into their chest. Using a pillow underneath can help raise the bottom even higher.

Next, the partner with the penis positions themselves over their partner, and they both move together to find the best angle for penetration.

Seesaw

For the advanced backdoor player, the seesaw position lets the receiver take the lead in thrusting, so they can take it as deep as they want.

The partner doing the penetrating sits on the bed with legs extended and hands behind them for support. Next, the receiving partner sits on their lap facing them and places their hands behind them so their hands are resting on their partner’s legs.

Anal pile driver

This is just like the P-in-V pile driver mentioned above, only it’s the anus being penetrated.

To recap: The receiving partner lies on the floor and brings their legs up and over, next to their head. The penetrating partner squats over top and enters, using a squatting motion to thrust in and out.

If you’re having oral or erogenous fun

Why limit oral sex and erogenous fun to foreplay? With its orgasmic potential and versatility, both are worthy of main event status. Tickles, tongues, and toys, oh my!

Here are some moves for all skill levels that are worth a whirl, regardless of penis size.

Lie back and enjoy

The receiving partner simply lies back with a pillow under their butt and legs apart, and enjoys the feel and the view.

This position works for sex toy play and manual stimulation like hand jobs and fingering, as well as cunnilingus, blow jobs, and rimming.

Butterball

The lucky recipient lies on their back with their knees pulled into their chest, fittingly resembling a turkey ready for a good basting. Their partner then lays belly-down ahead of the spread so they can tongue the clit, cock and balls, or anus with ease.

Doggy

Good ol’ doggy style does it again.

The receiver gets on all fours and the giver behind has it all right in their face and ready for cunnilingus or rimming.

You can give someone a BJ in this position, too. Just place a pillow between their legs to prop up your head to get you closer.

Open wide

This position is best suited to giving oral to someone with a penis, but with a little tweaking — rather, squatting — you could probably make it work for a vagina or anus, too.

The giver lies on their bed with their neck at the edge and head hanging back. Their partner stands over them, placing their junk over their partner’s open mouth. Teabag, anyone?

In your face

We’re getting into face sitting territory now. Some people find it a tad claustrophobic, while others love the kinky element.

The giver lies on their back, and the receiver straddles their face. The receiver can face forward for P or V oral, or turn a cheek to the giver for an anal tongue lashing.

69

You either love it or hate it, but the 69 shares the pleasure equally between partners.

One person lies on their back and the other climbs on, facing their partner’s feet so you’re both up close and personal with the other’s genitals.

If anal play is your pleasure, you’ll want to be on top to get the angle right for your partner.

Got mad oral skills and muscle strength? Try a standing 69.

Things to keep in mind if you’re less endowed

Sure, the world’s got its share of size queens, but ask most people about their best sex ever and size rarely gets a mention. Chemistry, enthusiasm, and moves are what make an experience memorable.

Here are some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind for you next sack sesh if you’re worried about your penis size:

Don’t compare yourself to others. Based on research, 85 percent of individuals who have a penis overestimate the average size, assuming that everyone else is packing a much bigger piece.

Do be confident, even if you have to fake it till you make it. Confidence really is sexy, and stressing about your penis size will ruin sex faster than a smaller-than-average penis. Practice confidence-building techniques like positive self-talk to get you there.

Don’t be afraid to use toys and props. Not because they can “do the job you can’t,” but because different sensations can be fun for all involved. Plus, adding toys makes you look like a confident and skilled badass in the bedroom. So hot!

Do improve your hip flexibility. This will allow for deeper penetration and make you a master thruster. Use simple hip stretches to limber you up.
Things to keep in mind if your partner is less endowed

Penises come in all shapes and sizes, some smaller than others. Here are some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind if your partner is less endowed:

Don’t lie. Unless you’re engaging in roleplay they’ve consented to, lying and acting like they have a big penis can do more harm than good to your relationship and their confidence.

Do be patient. Penis anxiety is as real as other types of negative body image issues. It may take time for your partner to become comfortable in their own skin and with you.

Don’t fake it. Faking an O isn’t the solution if it’s just not working for you. You both deserve to have satisfying sex. Experiment with other techniques and communicate openly about what works for you and what doesn’t.

Don’t ask if it’s in. For obvious reasons, asking if it’s in is a no-no. If you’re really not sure, reach down for a feel to be sure.
The bottom line

A big penis isn’t necessary for earth-shattering sex, but confidence, communication, and a willingness to try new things are.

Getting the most out of everything you have is the secret to any wonderful experience. Using toys, concentrating on something other than penetration, and adopting specific postures can really help.