Sexuality - Explore Your Sexual Desires & Fantasies

Even if your sex life is already satisfying, it's normal to want to make it even better. You want to have earth-shattering, mind-blowing sex sessions. Well, you've come to the right place, my friend.

The 25 Best Sex Tips Ever for Men

Perhaps you want to improve your ability to satisfy your lover, perhaps you want to heighten the intensity of your orgasms, lengthen your erections, and spend more time in bed. Perhaps you'd want to learn more about anal play, whether sex toys are ideal for couples, or how to discuss your darkest, most intense sexual dreams with your spouse. Maybe you're bored with your current relationship and want to try your hand at BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism) or perhaps thinking about dating someone else. Whatever it is, there's a good chance we can offer some guidance.

Here are our top 25 expert-approved strategies for having the best sex of your life, without further ado. Later on, you may thank us.

Use your tongue wisely.

Avoid using your tongue like a dart during a kiss (in and out, in and out). Instead, experiment with different pressure levels and movements. For further advice on honing your kissing technique, click this link.

Do Kegel exercises.

You're not the only one who wishes to prolong sex. "Virtually all men experience premature ejaculation at some point in their lives," said Thomas J. Walsh, M.D., a urologist at the University of Washington. You can postpone ejaculation by performing Kegel exercises. Your ability to regulate your orgasms during sex will improve if you strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. Click here to find out how to do them and discover more tricks for staying in bed longer.

Experiment with edging.

Is there any method to prolong sex? Develop the ability to postpone your climax while you're masturbating. Premature ejaculation can be avoided by edging, which is the act of pushing oneself to the verge of an orgasm and then ceasing all sexual stimulation..

Try a cock ring.

We've dubbed the cock ring the "superfood of sex toys" due to its affordability, simplicity of usage, and wide range of benefits for your sexual life. You may improve your erection, increase your self-confidence, and intensify your orgasms with a tight ring that fits around the base of your penis (and occasionally your testicles, too). Choosing a vibrating alternative may also aid in clitoris or booty stimulation for your companion.

Masturbate together.

Too frequently, we define "sex" as having the penis in the vagina or the anus, but that's such a narrow definition of what sex is. Now engage in reciprocal masturbation, which involves masturbating with your partner. You get to see how your spouse touches themself, which is a bonus. It's also fantastic for when you're too exhausted to get it on. That way, you may touch them just as they want the next time you have partnered sex!

Find a condom that feels great.

Author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman and sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., says if you detest the way condoms make you feel during sex, you may not be using the correct ones. Choose a condom that fits like a glove and keep an eye out for rubbers that are very thin or ribbed. STIs and pregnancy may be prevented with great efficacy, therefore it's important to pick the condom that fits your needs the best. 

Try a prostate massage.

Nestled between the bladder and the rectum, the prostate is a walnut-sized gland that is home to an abundance of nerve endings. The prostate can feel so nice that some professionals in sexual health have nicknamed it the "male G-spot" or the "P-spot." Here are our suggestions for the top prostate massagers available, along with advice on where to look for it.

Explore temperature play.

Ashley Cobb, Lovehoney's Sex Toy Matchmaker, defines "temperature play as a technique that uses heat or cold to stimulate the skin and provoke a sensual reaction."

Engage in wax play to warm things up in the boudoir, or massage an ice cube over your partner's body (the clit is particularly sensitive!) to trigger a potent sensory experience.

Use a butt plug or anal beads.

In addition to stimulating the prostate during partner intercourse or masturbation, these butt-centric sex toys may also prick the sensitive nerve endings at the anus hole. Anal beads can be progressively inserted or removed throughout a sex session, whereas butt plugs are made to slip in and stay in place—thus the name "plug" View these compilations of our best anal beads and butt plugs.

Lube up.

According to Ellen Friedrichs, M.A., an adjunct professor of human sexuality at Rutgers University, "lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris," Men's Health was informed by her. However, regardless of a woman's psychological arousal, she may occasionally struggle to get moist. 

Watch porn together.

Let us share a small secret with you: many ladies like viewing porn. 75% of women indicated they would watch porn with a partner during foreplay or actual intercourse, according to a Men's Health poll. Nevertheless, it's possible that they enjoy different kinds of content than you do, so be sure to talk about your preferences in advance or go through some softer-core options. 

Don't race to intercourse.

Sex isn't a race. Take time to explore your partner before you get to intercourse. Not only will it build desire, but it'll help you discover what you and your partner do and don't like in bed. "On its own, sex is pretty mechanical," psychologist and relationship therapist Tracy Thomas, Ph.D., told Men's Health. "Foreplay is where you learn what you like and don’t like."

Don't immediately head south during foreplay.

The genitals are off-limits during foreplay. Use your fingertips, a feather, a silk scarf, or anything else that piques your partner's interest to touch various regions of their body. Then, ask them to explain the sensation. This intensifies the tension until you both feel like exploding. See our advice on how to have a successful next foreplay session.

Ease into dirty talk.

Is your significant other a big talker? Something along the lines of "You make me think dirty thoughts." Take it gradually. Instead of jumping straight in with your dirtiest, most intimate remarks, it's better to tread lightly at first. Here's how to have naughty conversations in bed.

Try some roleplay.

Although roleplaying demands a great deal of suspension of disbelief, the rewards may be enormous if you can give it your all. Numerous well-known roles—such as boss/secretary, teacher/student, and stripper/customer—play on the idea that one is in charge and the other is at their mercy.

Make circles on your partner's clitoris.

P-in-V intercourse isn't going to cut it if your spouse is a vulva; there's a very strong possibility they need clitoral stimulation to climax. What's the finest method for clitoris stimulation with your partner? Three out of four women surveyed by Indiana University, which included 1,055 respondents, said they enjoyed it when their partners traced circles on their clitoris with their tongues or fingers. However, if you're not quite sure what makes your significant other crazy, ask them!

But don't overdo the clitoral contact.

Because the clitoris is so sensitive and nerve-wracking, your spouse might not want you to touch them there. You may massage the clitoris without directly pressing on it since it really extends beneath the skin on each side of the vagina, much like a wishbone. Try using gentle finger zigzags or flat, broad, extra-wet tongue strokes to trace the extensions (don't forget to apply lubricant). After that, slowly work your way around the top, getting closer each time. That mix of indirect touch and anticipation will activate those pleasure regions.

Don't ignore the perineum.

Stimulating the perineum—the area between your balls and your butt—can feel really good during masturbation or sex. "This area is packed with nerve-endings, so it feels really sensitive," Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., co-author of Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy, told Men's Health. You can also ask your partner to apply pressure to the area during oral sex.

Focus on closing the pleasure gap—not just the orgasm gap.

It's admirable that you want to facilitate your partner's climax since the orgasm gap is real! However, if you make it the only thing on your mind during a sexual encounter—for example, by telling them you won't come until they're ready—you risk making them anxious and reducing the chance that they will experience an orgasm. Read up about narrowing the pleasure gap instead.

Don't ask your partner if they finished.

"Did you come?" is a question you should never ask someone who has a vulva after sex. You're subtly telling your spouse that their enjoyment is an afterthought for you if you ask that question after sex instead of during the act, and that's not acceptable. Rather, during the actual intercourse, prioritize their pleasure.

Switch positions.

Change up your usual sex positions if you and your lover aren't as excited about having sex as you once were. Try these simple methods to add some flair to the cowgirl or missionary roles. If you're really up for a challenge, try working your way through our list of the 50 greatest sex positions ever.

Remember there are more options than just monogamy.

If you and your partner have been itching to have sex with someone new, you could explore having a threesome or attending a sex party together.

Tap into the public sex fantasy.

Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, interviewed over 4,000 Americans about their sexual fantasies for his book, Tell Me What You Want. Eighty-four percent of respondents said they'd fantasized about public sex at least once before, and 29% said they fantasized about it often. “People are turned on by the idea of doing new and different things sexually, which is why fantasies about having sex in different settings are quite common,” Lehmiller told Men's Health. “People also tend to think of sex as something that people only do in private, so taking it public is transgressive.”

Now, we don't recommend actually having sex in public—that could get you in trouble with the law. But there are plenty of ways to safely tap into the public sex fantasy, from dirty talk to virtual orgies to sex resorts.

Explore your other fantasies.

Here's an idea for a "fantasy lottery": Both you and your partner write five sexual fantasies down on five separate notebook cards. Then head to a restaurant where you can get a booth and some privacy in a public setting. Over dinner and wine, pull out the cards and make three piles: "yes"; "maybe someday"; and "not on your life." Put the items from the first two piles in a shoe box, and once a month—or as often as you like—pull one out to try.

Explore power dynamics.

You can dabble a little with BDSM. One of you can be the dominant—i.e., the one commanding their partner what to do—while the other can be the submissive who listens to the commands.

There are many ways to explore dominant and submissive relationships, including spanking, doling out punishments, and practicing bondage.